women's health – babbles&brains

Trying to Become Parents Part 16: The BEST News Ever & The worst news ever

Posted on September 30, 2022September 30, 2022 by babbles&brains

It’s taken me ages to upload. So many things have happened since the last update to this journey. Good news and bad news.

I’ll start with a bit of good news. We did a transfer of our only male embryo. The two week wait and the hcg beta tests were so extremely nerve-wracking. I was so nervous that I wouldn’t have good news, but the numbers doubled, and then at the third beta test, the results skyrocketed to about 6 times over the expected doubling. Which should have indicated to me that we were dealing with multiples but I was just lucky to finally be pregnant and it really stuck in there.

The bad news is, I was carrying twins for about seven weeks. We found out when I was 6 weeks and some days that I was carrying two babies, strong heartbeats, similar in size. At our next monitoring check around week 8 and 3 days, one of them no longer had a heartbeat.

We had about two weeks to absorb the idea of having twins, and just started to get excited and call them “the boys” because we were pretty sure they were identical twins from our one embryo splitting into two. That’s a story for another day because our doctor is convinced it was from my ovulation as it showed signs of genetic abnormality (but we followed directions and didn’t have sex before or after transfer so how did it get there?!).

Vanishing twin syndrome is pretty common, but often missed with regular unassisted pregnancies. Since I’ve been monitored every two weeks, we saw it happen. It gave us a little bit of time to love another baby before it was gone, but still heartbreaking. I never expected to experience a pregnancy loss and my first pregnancy at the same time.

And that’s the good news. I am 9 weeks and 5 days today. Our baby boy that stayed earth-side is growing so well. We got to hear his heartbeat, he’s got fingers and toes, and he’s just perfect. We are going to be parents by April 30!

As much as we are saddened by the loss, we are so grateful that we still have a baby and that we still get to be parents. I’m trying to stay as positive as possible because our baby deserves the least amount of distress.

So, we’re pregnant. FINALLY!

Talk to you soon, Babbles&brains

Trying to Become Parents Journey

Trying to Become Parents Part 15: The Two Week Wait

Posted on August 19, 2022August 19, 2022 by babbles&brains

So much has happened since the last time I posted. The PGT results came in and indicated that we had three genetically viable embryos, and we signed off on transferring one this month. Transfer day was August 12, 2022.

My sweet husband and I, very much ready for our first embryo transfer.

The transfer itself was very quick. The prep was not fun. Apparently I have a smaller bladder than normal people so that made things uncomfortable for a while. But it was done and it was a perfect transfer!

And now, we’re waiting for my beta test appointments. Four days left actually for when I get results. FOUR. DAYS.

I’ve never been this close to being pregnant before. I don’t know what I’m supposed to feel in my body with pregnancy, so I can’t really say with confidence that I am without more proof. I have the cutest picture of our embryo, but I’m not ready to share it until we get our official news.

I’ll update in four days!

Cautiously optimistic, babbles&brains

Trying to Become Parents Journey

Trying to Become Parents- Part 14: Cryo-babies!

Posted on June 26, 2022 by babbles&brains

After all this time, we have four embryos being biopsied and frozen.

I am over the moon excited we have such a good chance of being parents now. We’re so close!

Now we just have to wait for our pgt results and my body to rest to get ready for pregnancy.

From 21 eggs, we had 16 mature eggs, and 9 fertilized normally, and by day 5/6 we got four embryos growing properly enough to be PGT tested.

We haven’t completely decided quite yet because we will discuss the plans with our doctor and nurse, but we’re really hoping we can do two embryos at once this first egg transfer in mid-August. I don’t mind twins, though I know the goal is one healthy pregnancy at a time and multiples make it risky. But we also have to wait to see if our embryos have all the chromosomes they’re supposed to for a viable pregnancy. So our number of embryos could be smaller in about two weeks. I’m really hoping we continue receiving good news on our little ones.

Until next time,

Babbles&brains

Trying to Become Parents Journey

Trying to Become Parents, Part 9: Waiting for funds

Posted on July 23, 2021July 23, 2021 by babbles&brains

Worst news first, the clinic we’ve been going to under our insurance wants up to $35,000 for one cycle of in vitro fertilization paid up front. No financing options. The entire payment is due before treatment.

WHAT!?

Obviously IVF is expensive. I know that. But I was not prepared to hear about that amount. That’s more than the price of my Honda CR-V. That’s a down payment on a house, a pretty nice one in California. That’s more than half of my yearly salary. It’s going to be really difficult to get a loan for that much. (For protection reasons, I will not be naming my current health insurance company. It’s an enormous company though, they have so much money already.)

Now, better news, I looked into another clinic not in our insurance system, and talked several people who went to this other clinic. After scouring their website in distress at the aforementioned worst news, they have financing options, and a cycle of IVF is LESS THAN HALF of the cost of the clinic under our insurance company. With financing options and payment plans!

I have an appointment to see them in September for a second opinion. It’s going to cost me several hundred dollars out of pocket, but if it goes well, I think I’m going to switch health insurance companies. I feel like the health insurance we have right now has failed us, that they only want money and aren’t actually listening to their patients (For example, telling me my ovulatory dysfunction is because of my weight when I’ve stated at least twenty times to just the clinic that I had anovulatory cycles when I was lighter. And I have only been at the fertility clinic in person a total of eight times in the past two years).

It’s going to still be at least a year until we can actually afford IVF.

Hopefully the next IUI is successful so we don’t even have to worry about IVF. hopefully we can start the next IUI cycle by next week. If this next IUI isn’t successful, I’m going to stop treatments until we can afford IVF.

So, we have to wait some more. A lot longer than I anticipated. I will probably not be posting my infertility saga for quite some time. However, I will be trying to keep as busy as possible. I have to show off my puppy and my plants and my amazing job as a teacher.

And as I’m waiting, I’m making a baby blanket for our future little one in the hopes that they will arrive one day.

My hope baby blanket that I started last week.

Anyway, I’m really sad right now. I’m sad we will have to put a pause on trying after this cycle. I’m sad that our insurance/clinic is gouging their prices. I’m sad that as a teacher in the United States I’m not paid a respectable living wage to actually afford more expensive health related procedures. I’m sad that I don’t have a sugar daddy to pay for expensive things like IVF because I’m happily married. I’m sad that I don’t get to be a mom yet.

But I’m not giving up.

Until next time,

Babbles&brains