So much has happened since the last time I posted. The PGT results came in and indicated that we had three genetically viable embryos, and we signed off on transferring one this month. Transfer day was August 12, 2022.
My sweet husband and I, very much ready for our first embryo transfer.
The transfer itself was very quick. The prep was not fun. Apparently I have a smaller bladder than normal people so that made things uncomfortable for a while. But it was done and it was a perfect transfer!
And now, we’re waiting for my beta test appointments. Four days left actually for when I get results. FOUR. DAYS.
I’ve never been this close to being pregnant before. I don’t know what I’m supposed to feel in my body with pregnancy, so I can’t really say with confidence that I am without more proof. I have the cutest picture of our embryo, but I’m not ready to share it until we get our official news.
After all this time, we have four embryos being biopsied and frozen.
This is next! AHHHH THIS IS NEXT.
I am over the moon excited we have such a good chance of being parents now. We’re so close!
Now we just have to wait for our pgt results and my body to rest to get ready for pregnancy.
From 21 eggs, we had 16 mature eggs, and 9 fertilized normally, and by day 5/6 we got four embryos growing properly enough to be PGT tested.
We haven’t completely decided quite yet because we will discuss the plans with our doctor and nurse, but we’re really hoping we can do two embryos at once this first egg transfer in mid-August. I don’t mind twins, though I know the goal is one healthy pregnancy at a time and multiples make it risky. But we also have to wait to see if our embryos have all the chromosomes they’re supposed to for a viable pregnancy. So our number of embryos could be smaller in about two weeks. I’m really hoping we continue receiving good news on our little ones.
So I’ve been doing the stimulation injections for 10 days and we’re so close to the egg retrieval! I trigger tonight and tomorrow morning and retrieval surgery is on Monday. It’s here. It’s really happening!
An illustrated example of what we hope to happen with all our eggs Monday!
I have 23 follicles growing steadily. I’m absolutely one to count eggs before they hatch. This is how my math works: 23 eggs that can get fertilized, they’re probably going to get about 20 eggs from the retrieval, about 1/3 of these eggs will get fertilized and grow to day 5 to get frozen. That means by Saturday, we will ideally get 6-7 embryos before they are tested for chromosome abnormalities.
I mean technically, it only takes one to take, but having our best chances for success would be ideal, and a few saved for multiple tries or a sibling later would be great. Regardless, I’ll be over the moon if we have just one embryo. That’s one possible baby I’d never have without IVF.
I’d really like to never have to do another egg retrieval though. It is very uncomfortable right now having ovaries the size of Meyer lemons. And it’s definitely out of our budget to do this again. #myteachersalaryisajoke
Anyway, wish us the best outcome! We’re so excited to finally start our family soon. Until next time,
Worst news first, the clinic we’ve been going to under our insurance wants up to $35,000 for one cycle of in vitro fertilization paid up front. No financing options. The entire payment is due before treatment.
WHAT!?
Obviously IVF is expensive. I know that. But I was not prepared to hear about that amount. That’s more than the price of my Honda CR-V. That’s a down payment on a house, a pretty nice one in California. That’s more than half of my yearly salary. It’s going to be really difficult to get a loan for that much. (For protection reasons, I will not be naming my current health insurance company. It’s an enormous company though, they have so much money already.)
Now, better news, I looked into another clinic not in our insurance system, and talked several people who went to this other clinic. After scouring their website in distress at the aforementioned worst news, they have financing options, and a cycle of IVF is LESS THAN HALF of the cost of the clinic under our insurance company. With financing options and payment plans!
I have an appointment to see them in September for a second opinion. It’s going to cost me several hundred dollars out of pocket, but if it goes well, I think I’m going to switch health insurance companies. I feel like the health insurance we have right now has failed us, that they only want money and aren’t actually listening to their patients (For example, telling me my ovulatory dysfunction is because of my weight when I’ve stated at least twenty times to just the clinic that I had anovulatory cycles when I was lighter. And I have only been at the fertility clinic in person a total of eight times in the past two years).
It’s going to still be at least a year until we can actually afford IVF.
Hopefully the next IUI is successful so we don’t even have to worry about IVF. hopefully we can start the next IUI cycle by next week. If this next IUI isn’t successful, I’m going to stop treatments until we can afford IVF.
So, we have to wait some more. A lot longer than I anticipated. I will probably not be posting my infertility saga for quite some time. However, I will be trying to keep as busy as possible. I have to show off my puppy and my plants and my amazing job as a teacher.
And as I’m waiting, I’m making a baby blanket for our future little one in the hopes that they will arrive one day.
My hope baby blanket that I started last week.
Anyway, I’m really sad right now. I’m sad we will have to put a pause on trying after this cycle. I’m sad that our insurance/clinic is gouging their prices. I’m sad that as a teacher in the United States I’m not paid a respectable living wage to actually afford more expensive health related procedures. I’m sad that I don’t have a sugar daddy to pay for expensive things like IVF because I’m happily married. I’m sad that I don’t get to be a mom yet.
New year, five months later, and not much changed for me.
Fourteen days after IUI and I’m not pregnant. Again. Ten percent chance, so I’m sure I’m just in the 90% that didn’t work out. Again.
I had some pretty intense cramping three days ago, which gave me a little hope and a lot of anxiety, and I bombarded myself with what-ifs: what if that’s implantation pain, what if that’s too late for implantation and I’ll have a miscarriage, what if this is all in my head anyway, what if I’m too stressed because of not being pregnant to get pregnant? I try not to do that, but sometimes I can’t help it. It’s awful though. How on earth does anyone get through this? There’s a part of me that wants to get a support group, but then another part that isn’t sure about hearing about other people’s successes if they happen sooner than mine.
Anyway, that’s the second of six IUIs I can do with my insurance. Apparently the 3rd and 4th are supposed to be the most “effective,” but then there’s also the crippling fear that even if I do get pregnant, I could miscarry. There is no amount of preparation I can do to not be devastated if that would happen. Again, with the what-ifs.
I’m feeling defeated right now. So I have to do some more reflecting on this whole thing.
I am going to do one more IUI and then decide if this is the path to motherhood I should continue on. I want to make sure I am mentally capable of handling terrible news for at least another year, or stopping treatments and looking into adoption.
Here’s what I want to do now:
Paint the entertainment center in the living room.
Paint the second bathroom.
Go on walks every day.
Practice mindful eating.
Do something just for me every day.
I think doing these things will help me get back on track to face the next part of this journey.
babbles&brains 