Posted in Trying to Become Parents Journey

Trying to Become Parents- Part 14: Cryo-babies!

After all this time, we have four embryos being biopsied and frozen.

This is next! AHHHH THIS IS NEXT.

I am over the moon excited we have such a good chance of being parents now. We’re so close!

Now we just have to wait for our pgt results and my body to rest to get ready for pregnancy.

From 21 eggs, we had 16 mature eggs, and 9 fertilized normally, and by day 5/6 we got four embryos growing properly enough to be PGT tested.

We haven’t completely decided quite yet because we will discuss the plans with our doctor and nurse, but we’re really hoping we can do two embryos at once this first egg transfer in mid-August. I don’t mind twins, though I know the goal is one healthy pregnancy at a time and multiples make it risky. But we also have to wait to see if our embryos have all the chromosomes they’re supposed to for a viable pregnancy. So our number of embryos could be smaller in about two weeks. I’m really hoping we continue receiving good news on our little ones.

Until next time,

Babbles&brains

Posted in Trying to Become Parents Journey

Trying to Become Parents, Part 9: Waiting for funds

Worst news first, the clinic we’ve been going to under our insurance wants up to $35,000 for one cycle of in vitro fertilization paid up front. No financing options. The entire payment is due before treatment.

WHAT!?

Obviously IVF is expensive. I know that. But I was not prepared to hear about that amount. That’s more than the price of my Honda CR-V. That’s a down payment on a house, a pretty nice one in California. That’s more than half of my yearly salary. It’s going to be really difficult to get a loan for that much. (For protection reasons, I will not be naming my current health insurance company. It’s an enormous company though, they have so much money already.)

Now, better news, I looked into another clinic not in our insurance system, and talked several people who went to this other clinic. After scouring their website in distress at the aforementioned worst news, they have financing options, and a cycle of IVF is LESS THAN HALF of the cost of the clinic under our insurance company. With financing options and payment plans!

I have an appointment to see them in September for a second opinion. It’s going to cost me several hundred dollars out of pocket, but if it goes well, I think I’m going to switch health insurance companies. I feel like the health insurance we have right now has failed us, that they only want money and aren’t actually listening to their patients (For example, telling me my ovulatory dysfunction is because of my weight when I’ve stated at least twenty times to just the clinic that I had anovulatory cycles when I was lighter. And I have only been at the fertility clinic in person a total of eight times in the past two years).

It’s going to still be at least a year until we can actually afford IVF.

Hopefully the next IUI is successful so we don’t even have to worry about IVF. hopefully we can start the next IUI cycle by next week. If this next IUI isn’t successful, I’m going to stop treatments until we can afford IVF.

So, we have to wait some more. A lot longer than I anticipated. I will probably not be posting my infertility saga for quite some time. However, I will be trying to keep as busy as possible. I have to show off my puppy and my plants and my amazing job as a teacher.

And as I’m waiting, I’m making a baby blanket for our future little one in the hopes that they will arrive one day.

My hope baby blanket that I started last week.

Anyway, I’m really sad right now. I’m sad we will have to put a pause on trying after this cycle. I’m sad that our insurance/clinic is gouging their prices. I’m sad that as a teacher in the United States I’m not paid a respectable living wage to actually afford more expensive health related procedures. I’m sad that I don’t have a sugar daddy to pay for expensive things like IVF because I’m happily married. I’m sad that I don’t get to be a mom yet.

But I’m not giving up.

Until next time,

Babbles&brains

Posted in Trying to Become Parents Journey

Trying to Become Parents- Part 4: Pandemic Blues

Warning: This post has moments that are possibly TMI.

Trying to have a baby in a pandemic is difficult, especially if it is difficult to conceive. I finally started my period (about a week and a half late because I don’t think I ovulated. Believe me, I took a ton of pregnancy tests, all negative). I called the clinic as instructed on the first day of my cycle, and guess what? No appointments available.

The fertility clinic patients are getting treatments every other cycle with all of the regulations and social distancing rules. So since I couldn’t get an appointment this time, I’m on the list to get an appointment next cycle. But I don’t know when that will happen at this point. It’s not guaranteed that I can get an appointment next cycle either.

This is hard. I really need to have this appointment to rule out cysts and begin a different treatment to conceive. It’s the next step to starting a family for us. It’s all up in the air now.

I thought I found some patience and peace about waiting since meeting the specialist at an online appointment. Now I’m just so frustrated, and sad. Why can’t I just be a little bit normal at least and conceive like so many others can? How come no matter how much I want to be a parent, there are SO many obstacles in the way? What is so wrong with me?

There are other patients who are older than me, where time is running out for them, and they deserve the chance to have a family if they want it. Thankfully, I’m still young and have time, even if I’m tired of waiting. I may have to be more patient still.

Stay healthy and safe, everyone. I think we all want things to go back to normal.

Until next time,

Babbles&brains

Posted in Trying to Become Parents Journey

Trying to Become Parents: Part 2

I was really hoping this month would be the month. I was so relaxed, calm, and filled my days with things that made me happy.

I even got some pretty intense “could it be PMS or pregnancy?” symptoms I was tracking. For whatever reason, a LOT of heartburn and breast tenderness. Unfortunately, I’m not pregnant. It’s just that time of the month again.

Which is actually really good, because now I am having more regular cycles, so hopefully I am ovulating more regularly. I was able to schedule with radiology and I actually got an appointment for next week! I know it will be good to have this done so we can get a closer look at what is going on. It’s just not going to feel good. My husband is also going to be getting his specimen tested next week. So soon, we will have more information to help us.

Seven-ish months of trying though. I feel like a failure sometimes. Like, I didn’t start trying soon enough, or my body is failing to make it happen. I also feel like I’m running out of time for no reason. I’m only twenty-eight, but I’m already twenty-eight.

Anyway, I’m still waiting to go back to all the tracking until after our tests are done and we have our first appointment with the fertility doctor for their guidance. I am going to feel so relieved knowing more information about what’s going on and getting the help we need to conceive.

I guess that’s all for my update. I’m okay. Mostly. I’m still hopeful.

Thanks for listening,

Babbles&brains